Skip to Main Content

Test My Relationship

Testing Your Relationship

John Kappas

Throughout the E&P Relationship Course, book, and tests, we discuss the two basic types of Relationship Behaviors; “E” and “P”. These are short for “Emotional and Physical” but don’t let that concern you just yet.

Things to Know Before You Begin

Upon completion of the test you will be presented with your percentage of your “E” and “P” behavior and a short written explanation of how to interpret it. The “E&P” video seminar can explain in detail the meaning of your test score.

Please answer the Questionnaire in reference to your current, or most recent significant relationship, unless the question specifically asks for data about a previous liaison.

The Honeymoon Stage

If your current relationship is still in the Honeymoon Stage, then you should base all your answers upon your experiences in one previous relationship.

How can you tell if you are still in the Honeymoon Stage? If you believe your partner is perfect, if you and your partner have never had a fight, if you still work hard to make sure your partner sees only the “good” side of you – you are probably in the Honeymoon Stage.

The Trauma Stage

Since most marriages and love affairs end with a Trauma Stage, answering the questions about a relationship which has passed through such a stage will tell you a great deal about how you behave under stress. You have the potential to behave that way again, if your present relationship enters the Trauma Stage.

During the Trauma Stage, both partners experience a great deal of anxiety, and anxiety interferes simultaneously with judgment, reasoning, and the ability to “put things in perspective.” Insecurity, guilt, doubts about the partner and about oneself all serve to exaggerate your sexual personality.

During the Trauma Stage, an Emotional partner will act even more Emotional than usual, and a Physical partner will accentuate Physicalness. When your partner’s behavior becomes exaggerated, you exaggerate your own opposite Sexuality in response.

So if you answer the Questionnaire relative to an “old” relationship, and you score at 85% Emotional Sexuality or 85% Physical Sexuality, you will know that you have the latent ability to function at that high, potentially maladaptive level of sexuality.

Don’t hesitate to take the tests several times, relative to several different relationships, to gain extra insights into the way you behave. Just make certain that you are consistent and base each Questionnaire on the same relationship.

The Questionnaire may contain questions which are similar to one another but not exactly alike. Read each one carefully before selecting your answer – read the questions carefully and literally. If a question asks whether you feel something or do something “more” or “more often” than your partner, then if you feel or do that thing “the same” or “as often” as your partner, you should answer “No”. You should answer “Yes” only if you feel or do it more or more often.

Likewise, if the question asks whether you do or feel something “less” or “less often” than your partner, and you do or feel it “the same” or “as often” as your partner, you should answer “No” (reserve the “Yes” answer for times when you really do or feel whatever it is, less or less often than your partner does or feels this thing).

If you have a cooperative partner, you may want to have him or her fill out the questionnaires. In discussing how your answers are alike or different, you may discover some very interesting things about yourselves and how you relate to one another. Use the “Partner Code” to be able to compare your results. Only the total scores are revealed to your partner, not your individual answers to the questions.

Are You Ready to Begin the Test?

Before we begin, we need to gather some background information that helps our research and understanding of relationship behaviors. Even with this demographic profile you remain anonymous, no email address is required. Your individual answers are never shared with your friends or partner, only your total score. Those items below marked with an asterisk (*) are required, thank you.

First Name: Optional
* Group Code: Don't have a Group Code? Leave as Guest.
Partner Code: Don't have a Partner Code? Leave blank.
If you have a Partner Code, enter that above so that you can compare results with your partner. No individual question responses are revealed, just your final scores.
* What is your Ethnicity:
Do you have an ethnic heritage/cultural heritage more than 75% of any of the categories listed above and/or would you say you were raised and influenced by being raised in any of the following ethnic/cultural households?
* Gender:
* What is your
Sexual Orientation:
* Age:
* What is your current Relationship Status?
* Country:
* State:
* How did you hear about the E&P Relationship Test?
Search Term Used:
Hear Other:
Have you read the text “Relationship Strategies: The E&P Attraction” by Dr. John G. Kappas?
Have you watched the free online E&P Video Seminar by George J. Kappas, MA, LMFT?
* Were you raised outside the U.S. until the age of 8 or more?
* Were your parents married until you were age 16 or older?
Were you raised with siblings?
* Were you raised by one parent/guardian only?
* Did your single parent/guardian remarry while you lived with them?